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Barenaked for the Very First Time
You might say I've been around the Barenaked block. I've seen so many Barenaked shows, you
could call me an exhibitionist. I just celebrated my sixth year of Nakedness with a full
blown weekend with the boys in not one, not two, but three Texas cities, Dallas, Austin,
and Houston. I'm not new to this scene, but lots are, what with the incredible success of
"One Week" and the Stunt CD. I spy the newbies at the shows, and like
the mature, older, experienced woman that I am, I try to make them feel comfortable and at
ease. I impress them with my knowledge. I know all the band members' birthdays. I know
where the name came from. I talk about the time they ran naked in Austin. I know that Enid
spelled backwards is "dine". I tell them I have seen BNL 43 times in 23 cities
in 14 different states. They are frightened. I try to prepare the naive and unsuspecting
for what is about to happen, but nothing can prepare you for the most satisfying
experience of your life. You just have to trust your instincts and experience it for
yourself.
Here in my home of Houston, I had invited many of my friends to do just that. Sure, they
had heard all my lurid tales, the spontaneous chatter, the clever lyrics, the amazing
talent...but they had lived vicariously long enough. It was time that they tasted the
Barenaked world for themselves. I get a little verclempt as I remember my first time. The
uncertainty, the hot anticipation, and then the pure joy and utter disbelief that I am
being so thoroughly entertained. And then, moments after the show, wondering how soon
before I could get it, that unbelievable high, again.
Sure, I've written tons of reviews of BNL shows. I wonder, am I still able, after all this
time, can I still capture the moment? Or has it become routine, a habit? Can I relate to
the world what it truly feels like to be Barenaked for the Very First Time. I looked to
some of the BNL virgins, spoiled for any other band after the Houston show, for their
thoughts, their comments, their innermost feelings on the men that I have loved for so
long. I asked several of my friends to give me a brief review of the show. The word that
came up in just about every case was "spontaneous". Every good relationship
should have an element of spontaneity and BNL has a unique ability to capture the moment.
Like when Ed was "Meeting the Security Guard" and Andre said his favorite show
at the Aerial Theater had been Lenny Kravitz. Steve suggested "Are You Gonna Go My
Way", and the next thing, Andre and BNL are jammin' to Lenny. Or in Austin, during
the last encore, Ed begins an Alanis Morisette style "Thank You" routine and the
rest of the band tires of it, so they leave the stage. Ed, calmly decides he could do his
own blues show without the band and starts groovin'. Seconds later, Tyler is onstage in
his undies doing a sexy little dance. Or, in Houston, how they cleverly work in stories
about their trip to NASA and the WCS or World's Coolest Shitter. They have a rare talent
of improvisation and make it look so easy, so seamless.
Another word that kept creeping into each persons' reviews was "entertaining".
BNL is there for us for the entire two hours they are onstage. It's not about them, its
about everyone having a good time. They're unselfish with their entertainment. Steve
captures everyone's attention with his rousing rendition of Memories, but just seconds
before he is goofing on a rap about getting a hand job. Ed sings about the Great Provider
and then he's the beat box for a choreography routine that would make Janet Jackson proud.
Joy, sadness, guilt, shame, redemption, laughter, and about 100 other emotions are
explored during a BNL show. It's that simultaneous contradiction of emotions that is so
perfectly unique. Guess what? Steve plays the flute on Who Needs Sleep and he looks pretty
hot in a green dress...Break Your Heart, apology or kiss off..."These Apples are
delicious, as a matter of fact they are, she said." Jim plays "Itsy Bitsy
Spider" as an intro to "Hava Nagila", as an intro to "One
Week"...Never is Enough, or is it? "Never" would be a crime if it came
before "seen BNL live". Songs from Gordon hold up as well as songs from
Stunt, and "$1M" is always a crowd pleaser, no matter how many times
they've done it, no matter how many tons of macaroni have been pelted, it's always
different and it's always good.
Finally, the most common comment was "it was the best damn live show I have ever
seen". The best.... We all aspire to being good, even great, but the best, well, that
means there's no one better. Sometimes we tell others that they are the "best",
but do we really mean it? When we are talking about BNL, we do. Anything less than the
ultimate superlative would be skimping on praise. Who else can do what they do? Where else
can you go and know that for the next two hours, you will be completely satisfied. No
negative thoughts, no stresses of the day, no whiny coworkers, no checking your watch, no
bills to pay, no worrying if he'll call, or if you're gonna get that big promotion, or if
you're gonna graduate on time, or (Insert Your Own Concern Here)..... From
the power of the first chord of "It's All Been Done" to the last gut wrenching
lyric of "What a Good Boy", the Stunt show has you and doesn't let you
go. At a BNL show, you are surrounded by a thousand happy people, and for that time, they
are all your best friends.
So, to summarize, a BNL show is spontaneous, entertaining, unselfish, charming, humorous,
and the "best". It's like the perfect man. Once you've had him, if you've had
him, you're spoiled for anyone else. Sure, you'll go to other concerts, you might even
like them, but you are always wondering, waiting for the next time it will be the
mindblowing, all encompassing feeling of full body ecstacy that can only be achieved at a
BNL show. BNL is a sure thing, they never disappoint. And every time is as good as the
very first time. Hey, I should know. While I don't endorse smoking in any way, if I did
smoke, I'd need a cigarette right now.
On That Note, I'm outta here......
C
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